A poem...

Hey guys. I haven’t written a poem in a long time… I mean, a real poem in my style of writing so I sat down and wrote this in about 15 minutes. Any comments, thoughts, or things you think could be changed or written better are always appreciated. :D

Untitled #17

The rippled dream formed
From the lingering blue mist of the moon
Has blossomed at the pace of sluggish laughter
And is the daughter of the evening's mood–
A flower so beautifully fashioned
That grows only over the meadows of Greece
Where the desolate stars of the dusk
Watch in silence the cries of the lover,
The lover of Persephone,
His hands full of rustic, flickering lights
That land on the trees,
Where droplets of dew hang
The color of dark amethyst and green,
Reflected on the mirror of black waters,
Created from the tears of sin,
And it is in such a setting, my darling,
That I’ve dreamed of kissing your lips,
For sweet is the secret that lieth there
Far more sweet than the one on your cheek,
Far sweeter than even the waters
And roses that dare stain your feet.
So let the evening last forever,
A reminder of those hungry years,
That have past in the search of tomorrow
And now rest at the end of our fingertips
Waiting for us to play under this rain
Of passion that crumbles around us…
Let the lover of Persephone cry today
While we smile under this feverish haze,
And, when the morning star winks from between
The mauve mountains that surround us,
Let its crimson glow be a reminder
That red lips are more beautiful in the evening
When they are claimed with the comfort
Of the veil of night hiding the glow of a golden love
Pretending to be the light of a candle’s rays…
 
Wow, this is amazing! :8-26-03respect: I really like the way you create such vivid imagery with your words. It just has such a beautiful ambience, a romantic, almost lyrical quality to it. :wub:
 

sushigirl28

New member
Beauteous, uranusbluedanger1!! *starry-eyed and fantasy-laden* :cloud9

It just flowed out of you in 15, wonderful!

~I dedicate this to Michael...

lol! j/p!

Thankyou!
xo
 
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