STICKY Fans please remain strong and ALIVE for Michael Jackson

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QuietSoul;211270 said:
I would never take my own life, for various reason. However, life isn't the same now. I see the world in a totally different light; everything feels slower. And I will be honest, I have thought, 'What's the point?' 'What is there to live FOR?'

But I have told myself.... I will never let Michael go. He will live in me forever. When I feel the warmth of the sun or hear the birds sing; smell the freshly cut grass or hear a beautiful melody, I will savor it, then send it to Michael. Though he is at peace in a much better place with more than this world could give him, everything I do will be in his memory because he is everything to me.



Like many of you I have thought, "well what is there to live for?" And I haven't really come up with a fantastic answer. As sad as I am, I couldn't take my own life over this. You have to think about others if you're this down.. I have a loving family, friends.. a newly born baby nephew.. I couldn't put my family through the pain that is currently being suffered by Michaels family, friends and fans.

So now, I am living for his memory. I will always remember what an inspiration he was and still is to me. I will never forget that without ever knowing me, he helped me out of a dark place I hope to never return to.. and that he's done the same for millions of other fans. I will always be his fan, and now I will speak out my opinions when others are disrespectful.

I admit to forgetting he was human. I always told myself he was a normal guy at home etc, as he was, but the possibility of death never occurred to me.
 

R e a f u

New member
As bad as this will sound...I really don't think we should be upset or blame anyone who has has ended their life in the last few days, we really shouldn't. For all we know, this event could have been the very thing that pushed these people off the edge. This must have been the final nail in the coffin so to speak. As someon who has been depressed I think I know a little about what I'm talking about.

Allow me to give you an example: imagine you are a young person who recently found a new job after a year and a half of searching. The job isn't the best in the world but when you start it, you're just happy for something. As time goes by, you start to notice things about the atmosphere of the job. You notice the clientele are rude, your boss patronizes you, your coworkers say to you all kinds of assinine and unnecessary things to you, but you are expected to grin and bear it all. You want to leave this job, but because of the mistakes in the auto industry and housing industry, you country(who happens to be Canada) goes through an economic recession...just as you start looking for a job. So you hand out resume after resume,hoping for something. You try retail stores as you now work in retail, you try jobs related to your college program, you try completely random things and nothing! So now you are stuck at this current job you hate...

The conditions in the job gave become worse. As a quiet person, you now go on tirades of swearing when relating to your job. You are absolutely envious of people with 9-5 jobs since your shifts end at 11:30 and depending on the whims of management, sometimes later. You always come home sore, tired and angry, most of the time in tears. You politely ask to borrow money from your family while you job hunt and intend to repay then when you are somewhere better. They will not hear of this, they say that enduring trials as this is part of being an "an adult", you come to resent these words, especially as your parents were insistant that you work at this specific job.

Now you are desparate to leave thus job. Being fired,quitting or being laid off...it's all the same to you now. You are envious of people who are jobless, people who get to enjoy their weekends, people who no longer have to work at this place that has vecome you personal hell. You are becoming desperate now....very much so. It is January you are back in college finishing your program of study, you are excited, hopefully you can cut your hours or just quit. An education is your ticket out of the dead end job you find yoursel at...or so you thought.

You ask your manger to work on weekends in the mornings so thar you can rest and study. They will not listen, they claim no one is "needed" in the mornings...not only that they want you to be available every day up till MIDNIGHT...you work your ass off in school despite all of this. So it continues, you work, go to bed at 3-5 in the morning, then have to be up and on campus to do your laboratory work, you keep telling yourself it will all be over when you get that diploma. Unfortunately, the diploma never comes. The lack of sleep causes you to make mistakes in the lab, you fail test and quizes. You fail your final exam because you studied the wrong information and were too tired to give your notes a second look...

Youve failed school and are stuck at a job you hate. You are distressed and distraught. Your family doesn't want to hear your "constant complaining" anymore. You are more frustrated and angry. Two years of your life have been wasted at this job! And no one is listening to you when you say you can no longer deal with the stress. You only seem to get a good sleep when you are sick from work and usually you are very sick...you constantly debate whether or not to return to school. What's the point? You can't find a job outside of the. Science field...why would you find one in it. You develop an eyelid twitch, you've gained 15 pounds and suicide is a very viable option to you now. Your thinking is "my life is slowly falling apart..." you are angrier and angrier with each day. You are an artist, you find yourself drawing progressivly more violent things related to work, you just want things to end...

Then one day a man in los Angeles dies. This man is a very special man, special to you and to many others. While you go through you ordeals, you listen to this man's words and his music. His music calms you and soothes you, perhaps, when this man sings, it is the voice of an angel you hear, but when he dances, you just know, God had possessed him. When things are rough, you think about this man and the things you share in common. You are both black, shy and quiet. You bothe have a passion for the arts and develop a certain confidence with the arts. In 19 of 24 years, you have come to love, idolize and respect this man. Last thursday, for reasons you still cannot understand let alone accept, this man left this world and you remain. You ask, you scream, you cry for an explaination at night. You ask God to take you instead as you are unimportant in the grand scheme of things. You remind the Creator that your life is falling apart, that you are slowly giving up on your dreams, so why this now? "I am one of 2 daughters, if one goes, you'll still have one left!" this justifies you wanting to take your life. It makes perfect sense, anything to bring him back! Your inspiration is gone, the last reminder that there are good people in the world has died and it has taken something from you with it. You are an empty shell now, you walk around with a smirk and watery eyes. Eyes that used to sparkle are now black and lifeless. You cannot and will not show your dimpled smile, it takes too much energy and hurts to do so. Your mother begs you not to let the events of Thursday change you from the caring, sensitive person you are. You give her a blank stare before breaking down and just sobbing. You have been been crying so much these past days...your mother tells you to draw, it gives you peace but you can't, you used to like having music, fill the room as your ideas went from pencil sketches to images you spend joyful hours colouring in Photoshop. But now, it is difficult getting our of bed. All the ideas you had of drawing him, they're dead. You sit in your bedroom in the dark, you have to take codiene painkillers just to sleep. You wander around your home in a daze, not sure if it's the painkillers at work or depression...you are more desparate than you have ever been in your life...

I truely believe that what I have described is enough to drive some to kill themselves. Sadly this lenghty example is about a real person who has worked at Walmart for 2 years and is desparate for a new job. Sadly the person is me and I'm at my wits end.
 

danaluvsmj

New member
Aww, Leah, I'm so sorry hon *hugs*

You know, There are moments since this happened that I've cried 'I want to go too!' But then, I know I have no control over that.


It's been hard for me to function, but I'm trying.
 
While Michael's life was cut short he made the MOST out of his 50 years here on earth. We should all try to stay strong and do the same. Make the most out of your life, there is so much to live for and one of those things is his legacy and how he is being reborn and replayed and reconized for his work and lasting impression on the world.

Be strong
 

CJluvsMJ

New member
Leah, I have been through the same thing, but everything was up for me...until now.
I just graduated from high school, accepted to 4 colleges, & just two weeks ago got the money in order to buy the tickets for his concert.
Now he's gone...I don't have a clue what to do.
I have so much ahead of me, but I lost the urge to go get it.
I feel like I'll be lost forever, because my soul left with his.
 

R e a f u

New member
CJluvsMJ;211319 said:
Leah, I have been through the same thing, but everything was up for me...until now.
I just graduated from high school, accepted to 4 colleges, & just two weeks ago got the money in order to buy the tickets for his concert.
Now he's gone...I don't have a clue what to do.
I have so much ahead of me, but I lost the urge to go get it.
I feel like I'll be lost forever, because my soul left with his.

First of all congratulations, I hope college goes well for you. Before all of this I was looking forward to finishing my program off, do a minor in graphic art somewhere and get a job in a forensics lab. Now, I wonder if I just shouldn't withdraw from the college completely. If all can do now is sleep...how is school going to happen? At least if I keep on this way, I would finally be fired from that he'll hole walmart...such a shame I can't be 22 again and 15 pounds lighter.
 

privacy

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Reafu, that post could have been written about me. There are nice parts to my life, but they are nowhere near to balancing out the loss that I feel right now. I can completely relate to you, and I hope that things get better for you and quickly.
 

Missy

New member
Michael would definately not have wanted people to end their lives because of him...

I hope no one minds me sharing this (trust me, I'm going somewhere with it):

Michael got me through some awful, awful times in my life. For several years I suffered dreadful panic attacks which made me drop out of school, lose contact with my friends and even get to the point where I was afraid to leave the house. I always used to listen to his music and watch him just being himself and somehow it helped me, more than I can explain. It was like he showed me life was worth living again and I shouldn't be afraid of whats out there.

I got myself together and went back to school, even though I was told by teachers I wouldn't be able to handle it. I actually remember that day well, I went home in the car feeling crushed and listened to Michael's music. I remember thinking, 'I'll show them!' :lol I ended up passing all my exams and remained a faithful fan. After school I got a job, which I hated and ended going back to college again to get a qualification to enter university to study as a primary school teacher. Before Michael, working with children would never have entered my mind, but seeing him so happy in the company of children just touched me so much. I realised I wanted to be like him.

I'm now at uni in my last year with the aim to be a teacher. I'm absolutely determined to carry on with my life and be the teacher Michael inspired me to be. I badly want to get there and thank him for all of his inspiraton and encouragement he has given me, even though he's not here anymore (that feels so awful to say); but I will thank him anyway because I know he's up there somewhere and living on in my heart. Without him, I know I would not be where I am now. And I know he would not want me to throw everything I have worded for away. So I'll continue with my life and if I manage to make children half as happy as he made them I'll be satisfied.

PS. I'm going to have a tattoo of Michael next week, hopefully. I want the picture that Saphster has in her siggy. That way, he'll always be there.
 
A

Anonymous

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Pirate.;211280 said:
Yeah, that's how I feel too. I've been a fan since 3. I have NEVER known not being a fan, not having him to look up to, not having his music, message and inspiration. I sobbed hard as soon as I saw those awful words on the television screen. But then, later, I wasn't crying...I almost feel guilty for not feeling worse. I have periods of being okay, then awful periods of tears. I'm still in denial. Even as I'm writing this I'm thinking "how can this be real?"


Did we forget he was human?

... same with me here...awful periods of tears... and denial...
But i've never forgot he was a human... the most beautiful human... i can't even look at other people video musik ...
.... here in russian news .... some one said that Michael wannet to be like Elvis ... got me so mad (!!!!!!) ... :censored... his life ... bla bla bla ...
((Elvis)he did not write even one song ... ) how they can compare ?
... and those Michael's pics came up ... he was so handsome in casual....
 

R e a f u

New member
Reafu, that post could have been written about me. There are nice parts to my life, but they are nowhere near to balancing out the loss that I feel right now. I can completely relate to you, and I hope that things get better for you and quickly.


I hope things turn around for you and everyone else soon!
 
Oh man...I feared this would happen. :( *shakes head* I know it's hard, all of our hearts are broken, but honestly, I think that (anyone hurting themselves because of this) would be the LAST thing Michael would want....





silverglovedloved;211316 said:
While Michael's life was cut short he made the MOST out of his 50 years here on earth. We should all try to stay strong and do the same. Make the most out of your life, there is so much to live for and one of those things is his legacy and how he is being reborn and replayed and reconized for his work and lasting impression on the world.

Be strong


My thoughts exactly. :8-26-03respect:
 

DirtyDiana87

New member
I miss Michael Jackson so much I won't lie. I don't think his death has fully set in for me yet. His death doesn't seem real to me yet. However I understand that so many of his fans seen him as so much more than the "King Of Pop" However, I do believe with all of my heart that Michael is in Heaven with our Heavenly Father and I believe that Michael would not want people to take their own lives. I believe that Michael is saddend by this. I think he wants us to be strong.

This is just what I believe and I hope I did not offend anyone.

I do feel like however now that I look back on it that I thought Michael would live at least for another 20 to 30 years. I did not think his untimely death would come on all of a sudden like this and I think that this is what has been the hardest part for me to wrap my head & heart around.
 

oldschoolfan

New member
DirtyDiana87;211595 said:
I do feel like however now that I look back on it that I thought Michael would live at least for another 20 to 30 years.

I always thought the exact same thing, this was UNEXPECTED, I mean really unexpected. With all the stories that were going around before about him being sick and not having much longer to live that we knew were bull sh*t, and then for him to suddenly and literaly drop dead was a shock. NOBODY expected this. But I did get a thought go through my head jsut before it happened that he did have as long as I'd previously thought. I just didn't realise that it would be literally the next day.
 

R e a f u

New member
DirtyDiana87;211595 said:
I do feel like however now that I look back on it that I thought Michael would live at least for another 20 to 30 years. I did not think his untimely death would come on all of a sudden like this and I think that this is what has been the hardest part for me to wrap my head & heart around.

That is what makes all of this so difficult. I wanted to see him age, to see that raven black hair turn white, to see him develop laugh lines , crow's feet, the whole 9 yards of getting old. I would have wanted to be an older woman when he passed. To be able to tell my nephews and niece about being a little girl in the early 90's and seeing him on tv and the excitement I felt. Hell, to maybe be a mother or even a grandmother and to say "When I was 6 there was this singer I really liked, I used to tell my parents I would marry him and we'd build a house, on top of my parents' garage and live there!"

I mean he wouldn't be the first entertainer to leave us way too young. James Dean, Sam Cooke, Marvin Gaye, Elvis Presley, Buddy Holley, Tammi Terell, the list is almost endless. But be honest here, did you really think you'd add Mike to that list THIS quickly? He JUST turned 50 for Godsakes! Not 65, not 85, 50 f*cking years old! My parents are in their 60's and in relatively good health and my mother has chronic back problems and arthritis and my dad high blood pressure to boot! If they are still around and kicking it, why is it someone who wasn't over weight, who burned calories like no body's business, who was supposedly a 3rd degree blackbelt in kungfu, someone who ate healthy and I'm sure exercised, drop down dead, just like that? Not even 4 Goddamn weeks away from the start of the concerts and today he would have been 2 months away from turning 51.

This makes absolutely no sense, none what so ever. Michael would have had to been sick and I mean really, really sick. Bedridden sick, colostomy bag sick, having to get a priest to perform the Last Rights sick, going over your Last Will and Testament sick. No Michael from outside appearances wasn't sick. God f*ucking dammit, if that man was sick, how in the flying f*cuk would anyone let him go and do a concert. All the asskissing yes men aside, SOMEONE would have stopped him! Janet would have, Katherine would have...that's her bloody son, and no mother in their right mind would let their kid do something that stressful if they were sick. Any of his real friends would tell him not to do it and I know Michael would have at least listened and really thought about what these people were telling him.

The more I think about it the more it hurts and makes me so angry. Dammit it could and should have been someone else, I know as a Christian I shouldn't say this...but there are people who actually deserve to die before this man. All them terrorists in Iraq and the middle east that want to hurt people over here, they should go, all the damn perverts on the internet, the real pedophiles should not only be castrated with a rusted butter knife, but they should be killed too. Not this man, all Michael wanted was a world filled with PEACE and LOVE. That's all he wanted, I bet he didn't give two shits about the money and the fame, if you do something well, people will notice. If I were to really think about it, I bet I could find a very long list of people who actually deserve to die, but I know it would upset Mike's spirit and it would break my mother's heart to see me being so hateful, but dammit why Michael?!?! Someone who has more sense than me explain this one! All he ever did was sing songs that came from that man's heart and dance as if he was made of air...and this is how things end for him? To have that giving heart just conk out on him? How in hell is that supposed to make sense? He wasn't a smoker, he didn't use drugs, he was a clean and pure person, something that you just don't see today. I hope to God this second autopsy shows that someone did something or forgot to do something to him. I would have a little peace knowing that it was an honest mistake or the result of something going wrong. Even if it turns out someone murdered him, at least I would know he was in good health up to that point and finally I would have someone to direct my anger towards...but not knowing....It's driving me out of my head.

I'm sorry I keep rambling.
 

DirtyDiana87

New member
oldschoolfan;211598 said:
I always thought the exact same thing, this was UNEXPECTED, I mean really unexpected. With all the stories that were going around before about him being sick and not having much longer to live that we knew were bull sh*t, and then for him to suddenly and literaly drop dead was a shock. NOBODY expected this. But I did get a thought go through my head jsut before it happened that he did have as long as I'd previously thought. I just didn't realise that it would be literally the next day.

I totally know how you feel.
 

DirtyDiana87

New member
R e a f u;211603 said:
That is what makes all of this so difficult. I wanted to see him age, to see that raven black hair turn white, to see him develop laugh lines , crow's feet, the whole 9 yards of getting old. I would have wanted to be an older woman when he passed. To be able to tell my nephews and niece about being a little girl in the early 90's and seeing him on tv and the excitement I felt. Hell, to maybe be a mother or even a grandmother and to say "When I was 6 there was this singer I really liked, I used to tell my parents I would marry him and we'd build a house, on top of my parents' garage and live there!"

I mean he wouldn't be the first entertainer to leave us way too young. James Dean, Sam Cooke, Marvin Gaye, Elvis Presley, Buddy Holley, Tammi Terell, the list is almost endless. But be honest here, did you really think you'd add Mike to that list THIS quickly? He JUST turned 50 for Godsakes! Not 65, not 85, 50 f*cking years old! My parents are in their 60's and in relatively good health and my mother has chronic back problems and arthritis and my dad high blood pressure to boot! If they are still around and kicking it, why is it someone who wasn't over weight, who burned calories like no body's business, who was supposedly a 3rd degree blackbelt in kungfu, someone who ate healthy and I'm sure exercised, drop down dead, just like that? Not even 4 Goddamn weeks away from the start of the concerts and today he would have been 2 months away from turning 51.

This makes absolutely no sense, none what so ever. Michael would have had to been sick and I mean really, really sick. Bedridden sick, colostomy bag sick, having to get a priest to perform the Last Rights sick, going over your Last Will and Testament sick. No Michael from outside appearances wasn't sick. God f*ucking dammit, if that man was sick, how in the flying f*cuk would anyone let him go and do a concert. All the asskissing yes men aside, SOMEONE would have stopped him! Janet would have, Katherine would have...that's her bloody son, and no mother in their right mind would let their kid do something that stressful if they were sick. Any of his real friends would tell him not to do it and I know Michael would have at least listened and really thought about what these people were telling him.

The more I think about it the more it hurts and makes me so angry. Dammit it could and should have been someone else, I know as a Christian I shouldn't say this...but there are people who actually deserve to die before this man. All them terrorists in Iraq and the middle east that want to hurt people over here, they should go, all the damn perverts on the internet, the real pedophiles should not only be castrated with a rusted butter knife, but they should be killed too. Not this man, all Michael wanted was a world filled with PEACE and LOVE. That's all he wanted, I bet he didn't give two shits about the money and the fame, if you do something well, people will notice. If I were to really think about it, I bet I could find a very long list of people who actually deserve to die, but I know it would upset Mike's spirit and it would break my mother's heart to see me being so hateful, but dammit why Michael?!?! Someone who has more sense than me explain this one! All he ever did was sing songs that came from that man's heart and dance as if he was made of air...and this is how things end for him? To have that giving heart just conk out on him? How in hell is that supposed to make sense? He wasn't a smoker, he didn't use drugs, he was a clean and pure person, something that you just don't see today. I hope to God this second autopsy shows that someone did something or forgot to do something to him. I would have a little peace knowing that it was an honest mistake or the result of something going wrong. Even if it turns out someone murdered him, at least I would know he was in good health up to that point and finally I would have someone to direct my anger towards...but not knowing....It's driving me out of my head.

I'm sorry I keep rambling.

Believe it or not I know exactly how you feel. Now I could be wrong but, if you're a doctor you KNOW to put someone on the floor before begining CPR so you can open their airway. Something seems fishy to me. To have this come on all of a sudden when Michael passed all the physicals AEG asked him to do. What the heck?
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
DirtyDiana87;211635 said:
Believe it or not I know exactly how you feel. Now I could be wrong but, if you're a doctor you KNOW to put someone on the floor before begining CPR so you can open their airway. Something seems fishy to me. To have this come on all of a sudden when Michael passed all the physicals AEG asked him to do. What the heck?

Yeeeapp!!! I'm with you on that,
.but alsow there was other people, who were with Michael that day (the day before, they were saying smth, he did not feel wery well , that day)...
maybe those are fouls too ...
we just have waite... till resoults...
somthg ain't right
 
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