share how you are feeling and coping...

How do you feel about Michael Jackson? Got any info you want to share?

Moderator: Global Moderator

SpecialJanet25
Hero Member
Hero Member
Posts: 1058
Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2004 6:30 pm
Contact:

share how you are feeling and coping...

Post by SpecialJanet25 » Tue Jun 30, 2009 9:09 pm

[QUOTE=Saphster;211762]After reading your post I had to kind of sort of agree.......Michael surely went through a lot of pain in his life. And I'm still not over it. I dislike anyone who hurts or talks bad about Michael immediately, even if it's his own father. I don't hate Joseph, and I know his life was tough and was trying to do the best for his family, but I can't FULLY like him. I'll respect him though. It is true that Joseph was the one who started the Jackson 5 but I think even if he hadn't started it, Michael would have gotten into the music business and would've became the greatest artist of all time regardless. Joseph could've still let him have a good childhood and could've done things differently though....but I'm not going to duel on the past anymore.

Long Live Michael Jackson.[/QUOTE]

I understand where you are going from and I agree as well. As saw in Michael's Private Home Movies, he loves his father no matter what pain he did to his son. We can't change the past, but as you said, I dislike anyone who negatively unfairly judge Michael, when they don't know him. In the end, as an adult, he forgave his father for the hurt and pain he cause.
Image



Image

oldschoolfan
Hero Member
Hero Member
Posts: 1609
Joined: Wed Apr 22, 2009 2:19 pm

share how you are feeling and coping...

Post by oldschoolfan » Tue Jun 30, 2009 11:13 pm

I cannot stand him, but I agree with both sides of the argument. I have not met him, so I really have no right to judge. But I do and will. He reminds me a little of my dad. I always would say to myself 'I dont like people talking **** about my dad, even if Ive said stuff about him', and I know Michael has forgiven him becasue that is his nature. But a few months ago I saw a documentary from a guy whos name I cant remember, he's british and has attempted to get an interview with Michael at the same time as Bashit. He was able to get an 'interview' with Joe, and taht was pretty much the straw that broke the camels back for me. His attitude, the way he attempted to promote himself and all these cheap singers who worked for him, and the way he spoke about Michael was unbelievable. He honestly looked like he was pimping out some of these girls he was with.
If you thought Joe plugging himself at the BET awards was bad, you seen NOTHING. I just sat there in shock that this is what Michael has for a father.
So yes, I probably have no right to judge, but he isnt exactly helping himself with that attitude.
the member formerly known as MJslave...

Saphster
Hero Member
Hero Member
Posts: 3920
Joined: Sat Dec 25, 2004 7:23 pm
Contact:

share how you are feeling and coping...

Post by Saphster » Tue Jun 30, 2009 11:28 pm

How is everyone doing today?

You guys ever feel like....no one is suffering more than you? I always feel like no one is more upset than me over his death. But, I know I am wrong.
Image



\\\"My fans are still there. They still love me. They\\\'re alive.\\\" -Michael Jackson.

oldschoolfan
Hero Member
Hero Member
Posts: 1609
Joined: Wed Apr 22, 2009 2:19 pm

share how you are feeling and coping...

Post by oldschoolfan » Tue Jun 30, 2009 11:35 pm

I am actually beggining to recover, I havent really cried today or yesterday. and it feels GOOD!
the member formerly known as MJslave...

MoonDancer
Trial Period
Trial Period
Posts: 22
Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2009 10:36 pm

share how you are feeling and coping...

Post by MoonDancer » Tue Jun 30, 2009 11:49 pm

The reality is finally starting to sink in for me. I am mostly trying to remember him in a positive way by singing his songs, dancing to his music, and watching videos of him. Every so often it hits me again-- we lost someone so special. I don't think we're going to see that kind of talent again.

Purdy Young Thang
Hero Member
Hero Member
Posts: 1169
Joined: Sun Jul 18, 2004 10:19 pm
Contact:

share how you are feeling and coping...

Post by Purdy Young Thang » Wed Jul 01, 2009 2:10 pm

I just said these words to my best friend- you may know her as Darkbrowneye here on MJEOL - who is also having great difficulty coping with this, and I want to share it with you guys too...maybe it'll help.



it's...very painful, but I'm coping...
I lost a part of me, I lost my first love, I lost my eternal love- but then I say to myself, wait, if it's eternal..I didn't lose him at all.
The only real casualty here is the loss of his body. His body, no matter how beautiful it was, was only a schematic for what his spirit looks like, so we know he still looks the same and is the same...
I don't have to wait for any autopsy results (agsghaskfadsfaljd *sobs*) to know why he passed-- because, quite simply, his spirit was too young for his body.
No matter how beautiful it was, his body was considerably older than his spirit was- and his spirit just flew out at first chance it could and knew he could do it. Leave his fans knowing he was still performing, still dancing to the very end, giving to the very end his body could take- and then fled it. Free of pain, suffering, now people see his spirit CLEARLY and how beautiful and shiny he's always been...


It's very very bittersweet nowadays. Half of me still daydreams of him as if none of this ever happened, as if he's still a faraway unreachable dream but so close to me and inside of me, and I look at a picture of him (many, actually) and just gush on the inside about how gorgeous and beautiful he is... until the other part of my mind, the unpleasant one that wants me to face reality, says "he's gone, you can't do that anymore. What're you dreaming of? he's gone." and then there's an all out World War III in there, and I can feel all the bombs of pain exploding and it's horrible.

I can't sleep, I can't do anything right.


But usually the daydreamy part wins out because it convinces me: Look, Michael NEVER LEFT EARTH. He's still here, he just doesn't need his body anymore. It couldn't take his energy, his spirit, his youth. He said it in Moonwalk: When he was 29, he felt 80 and like it should be the end of his life already. If 30 is 80-- add twenty years... -- 50 = 100!!! Time, this stupid thing with clocks and calendars people made... Michael was actually 100, and he decided he couldn't dance like that anymore in a 100-year-old body in Michael years... so he was like "I'm outta here!" and is now dancing freely in a new invisible form- but he goes back and forth from visible to invisible as he feels like it. When he's visible, though, we've gotta keep an eye out to see him...
We must keep our eyes free of tears so we can see him clearly... it's hard but we gotta do it. It's what he'd want us to do.


Let's forget about the media just like we used to. We should keep living as we always did: the world is nothing but me, my loved ones, and Michael.
Image Image Image Image



:love :love :love :love

love you always

User avatar
LittleSusie50
Hero Member
Hero Member
Posts: 867
Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2009 1:35 am

share how you are feeling and coping...

Post by LittleSusie50 » Thu Jul 02, 2009 2:52 am

I thank God for this site. We pulled each other through the trial, and we WILL pull each other through this time, although we could not have imagined that we would ever have to lean on each other through something so unthinkable as this. Reading these posts lets me know that i have not lost my mind completely, and that others are experiencing the same thing.
I went out for the first time Tuesday, and it was the first time that I turned my television off since last Thursday, and I cried, because when I cut the TV on last Thursday afternoon, he was still here. I had a list of things to purchase, but I accidently left it, and could only remember two things on the list. I wanted to cry because I couldn't remember. My feet got heavier and heavier as I walked through a neighborhood that looked markedly different now. I prayed that I would not run into anyone I knew. I wanted to slap people who were laughing. I was so thankful that the sun was not shining and there was a chill in the usual summer air. All I kept thinking about was the STRANGER IN MOSCOW VIDEO as I walked. By the time I got home, I started crying as soon as the elevator doors closed, my head against the wall. I'm glad I was alone in there. I collapsed in tears at the kitchen counter. I don't know what to do with myself. Sometimes I'm ok and able to function, and other times I just lay in bed crying. I'm just starting to eat a little again, and I can only sleep when I am ready to collapse from fatigue. If I have a litltle time before I fall asleep, I cry. When I wake up, I cry and flip tv channels to see what is going on. i keep waking up every two hours. It hurts so deeply that I don't know how much I can take. If I'll ever be able to move on. Michael always helped me move on, and i wish that I had a chance to say thank you and i love you to him. I was questioning how I could have such a deep, profound love for someone I had never met. But I realized that it was not a romantic love, it was, and still is,love in its purest, highest, unconditional form. To quote Beyonce, it was love and acceptance 'flaws and all.' I will always love him, and for a while, its going to be difficult to rise and fall in a world in which he physically ceases to exist. My childhood and adulthood will forever be entertwined with memories of Michael Jackson, and I will never be able to deny that part of me. A lot of you were saying that feelings of sadness come and go, and this is very natural. You can not make yourself ok. I am a teacher, and I thank the Lord that I have the rest of the summer to grieve privately, and I pray for those who have to go through the motions at work or school. I found a website when my boyfriend passed away that listed the seven stages of grief:
1.Shock/Disbelief
2.Denial
3.Bargaining
4.Guilt
5.Anger
6.Depression
7.Acceptance/Hope
The information stated that many will go back and forth through the stages, and the grieving process is different for each person. Just remember, You Are Not Alone (wink...sniff...sob):(
God Bless,
Susie
Image

When I'm good I'm bad, and when I'm bad, I'm better...

Purdy Young Thang
Hero Member
Hero Member
Posts: 1169
Joined: Sun Jul 18, 2004 10:19 pm
Contact:

share how you are feeling and coping...

Post by Purdy Young Thang » Thu Jul 02, 2009 11:59 am

Oh, dude. I'm at Stage 7 now.
It seemed each day I went through each stage. O_O Weird, huh?


I think I'm FINALLY gonna be okay. x_x
Image Image Image Image



:love :love :love :love

love you always

oldschoolfan
Hero Member
Hero Member
Posts: 1609
Joined: Wed Apr 22, 2009 2:19 pm

share how you are feeling and coping...

Post by oldschoolfan » Fri Jul 03, 2009 10:53 am

Okay I was starting to feel better but I've just made myself feel mega crappy again. I decided to look Michael up on google and it came up with Wikipedia so I decided to read it coz I know when he died the site crashed with so many people jumping on there. It was all 'Michael Jackson born Aug 29th 1958, died June 25 2009' 'Michael Jackson WAS a singer' etc. I don't like all this past tense!!!
the member formerly known as MJslave...

senecajackson
Hero Member
Hero Member
Posts: 1201
Joined: Wed Aug 04, 2004 5:55 pm
Contact:

share how you are feeling and coping...

Post by senecajackson » Fri Jul 03, 2009 2:24 pm

Coping has been something really hard for me. Day by day it becomes even more real that michael is no longer with us. I look at it this way, Michael came and done his purpose on this earth...at some point his life became full circle and The Lord called him home. I just thank god for giving us such a wonderful person for as long as he did. Gonna miss him so much:mellow:
Image

User avatar
LittleSusie50
Hero Member
Hero Member
Posts: 867
Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2009 1:35 am

share how you are feeling and coping...

Post by LittleSusie50 » Sat Jul 04, 2009 3:54 am

I was watching the Lindsay Lohan movie "I Know Who Killed Me". Lohan's character went through a traumatic experience, but survived. Her mother said to her:

"You're gonna be alright. Different, but alright. You're a kicker. Keep kicking your way to the other side of this." Interesting...

I also wanna share that early this morning on ABC, like 4 or 5am. These newscasters were signing off, and the female newscaster held up a piece of paper that said 'Miss You Michael.' I was really surprised by that. I also heard one of the anchors on the EARLY SHOW on NBC talking about how she had downloaded "Heal the World" on her Ipod. They started talking about ABC and other J5 songs, and some of them got choked up. I think the reality is hitting them now too.
Seneca, it will get better. Things will subside once he is laid to rest properly. During Michael's trial, I had to work hard to pry myself away from the negative press and all the cackling. Its hard, because we wanna know everything and try to figure out everything, and its not possible. Joel osteen once said, 'Stop trying to put a question mark where God has placed a period.'
Yeah, I wanna know why MJ died. We all need that closure. The toxicology reports will give us the technical reasons, but God called that sweet man home. Simple as that. Too soon? Sure. But He has His reasons, and its not meant for us to totally understand. Maybe He took Michael to heaven so He could allow Michael to look down and see how much we all loved and cherished him. How people are coming together all over the PLANET in mourning and celebration. Michael finally got what he wanted. If I live to be 100, I doubt that I will witness anything like this again. The Staples center got 500,000,000 hits today. Unbelievable. There is no way Michael doesn't see this. We are gonna be okay. Time will heal us all. Don't rush it, and don't give up.
Image

When I'm good I'm bad, and when I'm bad, I'm better...

Saphster
Hero Member
Hero Member
Posts: 3920
Joined: Sat Dec 25, 2004 7:23 pm
Contact:

share how you are feeling and coping...

Post by Saphster » Thu Jul 16, 2009 4:26 am

I think about him everyday, when I wake up, before I go to bed...it's like........a part of me died with him.

I hate this feeling. I feel so lonely in that area that died with him....

I feel so obsessive for thinking about him so much. Sometimes I try to block him out. But, whenever I turn on the TV I tend to always go to CNN or when I go on the internet I come straight to MJEOL....even when I go grocery shopping I have to see him on every magazine as soon as I walk through the damn door and see that horrible last picture of him...

I know everything happens for a reason. I just pray that his soul is at peace. I know one day I will be able to see him and thank him for inspiring me.
Image



\\\"My fans are still there. They still love me. They\\\'re alive.\\\" -Michael Jackson.

bicentenialtink
Newbie
Newbie
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Jul 16, 2009 2:56 am

share how you are feeling and coping...

Post by bicentenialtink » Thu Jul 16, 2009 6:24 am

:( I am sitting here reading this post and I can identify with so many at the feeling of loss and searching for something, not knowing what really, but something to fill the void left by the loss of this beautiful soul. I have spent two days straight up and online looking for anything that I can find having to do with Michael at the moment. :confused: I just don't know what to think at times about the fact that it seems that this didn't have to happen. I always saw Michael as a sad and lonely person who suffered alone through most of his life. The more I hear the sadder I get because Michael had three children who are caught in the middle of all of this in a way that is going to effect them forever. They are being treated as pull toys by some and I think it is really very sad because it was bad enough that their father suffered in his lifetime as much as he did. They should not have to suffer as a result of loosing him. I have seen many that feel that Janet Jackson seems to be the most stable of the family and many feel that she should get Michaels children to raise them. I have seen footage of Michael and Janet running around the famed Neverland property with McCullican (am sure I miss spelled it, sorry) with water guns and water balloons. I believe that she would very well know how her brother would have wanted his children raised and should be considered to raise them, all three of them. My heart breaks at these children going through all of this and their feelings not being taken into account. Michael would be crying tears if he knew his children were being treated like property. He loved them so and didn't want them to grow up too soon as he had to. In the long run I am grieving the loss of this truly wonderful and gentle human being. :michaeljacksonicon: Rest well Michael and keep looking down on us all, especially your children. They still need you to protect them further.

privacy
Hero Member
Hero Member
Posts: 3656
Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2004 1:00 pm

share how you are feeling and coping...

Post by privacy » Thu Jul 16, 2009 4:34 pm

Most of the time I think I'm ok. I'm either very busy at work or busy trying to get to see the other half. The mind's either occupied or completely switched off with watching a film.

But then Living With Michael Jackson just came on tv in UK. I didn't switch over, I thought it might make me feel better, seeing him happy and laughing. Instead it really upset me. I had forgotten how much of a complete a$$hole Bashir was/is. I felt huge rage at his petty, insensitive comments.. his raised eyebrows, his complete lack of understanding.

So now all I can think about is Michael. And my heartache is back.

I went to the memorial in London last week, and met up with old MJeolers; Lucy, Jess and Sarah. Felicia was there but sadly couldn't find her.
For the most part I was happy to be surrounded by people who shared the same love and despair that I feel. But when I read all the messages that were on the wall and saw all the flowers, I could not stop the tears. It's still not a reality to me. He is still talked about so much in the papers it just feels strange.
I'm still not ready to celebrate his life, and if I'm honest I don't think I'll ever be that kind of person. No offence meant to anyone at all, but this re-affirms my lack of faith in God. I know that people have to die, and it doesn't matter how loved they are.. but I just can't bear it. I can't deal with this at all.
[align=center]Image



I knew I'd love you like I do[/align]

Missy
Sr. Member
Sr. Member
Posts: 354
Joined: Thu Aug 24, 2006 5:25 pm

share how you are feeling and coping...

Post by Missy » Thu Jul 16, 2009 4:38 pm

[QUOTE=privacy;213833]Most of the time I think I'm ok. I'm either very busy at work or busy trying to get to see the other half. The mind's either occupied or completely switched off with watching a film.

But then Living With Michael Jackson just came on tv in UK. I didn't switch over, I thought it might make me feel better, seeing him happy and laughing. Instead it really upset me. I had forgotten how much of a complete a$$hole Bashir was/is. I felt huge rage at his petty, insensitive comments.. his raised eyebrows, his complete lack of understanding.

So now all I can think about is Michael. And my heartache is back.

I went to the memorial in London last week, and met up with old MJeolers; Lucy, Jess and Sarah. Felicia was there but sadly couldn't find her.
For the most part I was happy to be surrounded by people who shared the same love and despair that I feel. But when I read all the messages that were on the wall and saw all the flowers, I could not stop the tears. It's still not a reality to me. He is still talked about so much in the papers it just feels strange.
I'm still not ready to celebrate his life, and if I'm honest I don't think I'll ever be that kind of person. No offence meant to anyone at all, but this re-affirms my lack of faith in God. I know that people have to die, and it doesn't matter how loved they are.. but I just can't bear it. I can't deal with this at all.[/QUOTE]

I'm watching LWMJ too at the moment. I've got my box of tissues and am having a cry.

I didn't know about the fan meet-up in London... I'd have liked to have met you again, acy (I'm Gem, aka Tiger Lilly). :( Do you remember me?
Image

Missing you...

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 17 guests