Losing A Friend

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EuphoricNostalgia
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Losing A Friend

Post by EuphoricNostalgia » Wed Oct 10, 2007 5:08 pm

It's been a long time since I've posted here. I've been real busy with College and other stuff. But recently, an accident changed my life.

A very close friend of mine, died in a motor accident. When another friend called me up her voice was shaking and the moment she said my friend's name, my body just froze and I was almost deafened by the thundering beats of my heart.

I called all the people I should call then rushed to the hospital. When my friend and I arrived there at the E.R., my boyfriend was already there. He just hugged me and told me not to worry. I had an opportunity to take a small peek at what's going on behind the blue curtains and what I saw made me cry. What a horrible sight. She didn't look like herself anymore. I won't go into details about what happened to her because I would cry right now if I do.

After the longest time inside the E.R., she was sent to the X-ray room. My boyfriend accompanied her and assisted transferring her. He was allowed to do it because we've been on duty to that hospital for already 2 weeks, coincidentally. And I think he sensed that I was really worried about our friend. My boyfriend and her were also close and relatives so I could feel that he was just trying to be strong for me while I cried silently.

She was sent to the operating room after her blood pressure dropped to zero.:( They said during the operation, she had a cardiac arrest. The doctor warned us that if it happens again, she'll die. We waited outside the operating room for news because one of the doctors inside was my friend's relative as well. You see she was a member of one of the richest family in our city.

He said she lost a lot of blood and she needs an initial transfusion of 6-8 bags of blood. But what makes me puzzled is that of all the people who were there at the hospital, nobody has her match. :confused:

When she was transferred to the ICU, I thought there was hope for her. I thought she was already stable but when I went there with my bf, the doctor said she was already brain dead. I cried hysterically when I heard that. It was so painful...and when I saw her when they opened the curtains of the ICU, I wanted to die too.:(

I knew she was trying to fight. I knew she didn't want to die...because she had FIVE cardiac arrests before her heart gave up.

...I posted this thread because I'm still really really sad. It's almost a month since it happened but I'm still mourning for her lost. It's so hard to accept that she's gone especially when EVERY DAY we were together. She would even surprise me by showing up at my room's door while I'm sleeping. She was one of the most precious friends I've had and now she's gone. What I'm afraid of now is that I can't go on with my life properly. I lost interest in school, I'm always moody and snapping at my bf, and I always feel so alone.

I've never felt such loneliness...and sadness. I'm weak emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I always always want someone I could talk to because the friend that I've lost was the one whom I frequently talk to.

What do you guys think I should do? I've thought about talking to a psychiatrist because I want someone or anyone...to tell me what my problem really is. I don't wanna be alone anymore.:(
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TruthSeeker
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Losing A Friend

Post by TruthSeeker » Wed Oct 10, 2007 8:03 pm

It's best to talk about it and if that means with a psychiartrist than do so. I just went down that road in August when I lost my mother and she had a cardiac arrest. I can relate because you do lose interest but don't lose focus! If you want to take a break or just a day or two off to think about everything that's okay as well. You are going to have your good days and you're going to have some bad ones.

If you need anyone to talk to, you have family here.

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Losing A Friend

Post by senecajackson » Wed Oct 10, 2007 8:36 pm

i can understand your loneliness and pain, because i lost my stepgrandfather back in late january and when i think about it the pain still feels so new. he was like one of my bestfriends and was one person that completely understood me and whom i spent alot time with. being the fact that when i stayed back home with my parents; he stayed in the bassement part. losing a loved one is very hard and when u dont have anyone who isnt really there to lend an ear its hard and it may be best to seek help if its really tauting you. and then again sweetie, this just happened....pain like that takes time to heal and god gets u through it because he doesnt put anything on you that you cant handle. this thing called life is a hard hard struggle, but stay strong and you can get through it. i promise. like truthseeker said you always have family here. and im praying for you. STAY STRONG. and try not to snap on ur boyfriend as much, because i can imagine this is hard for him too...being the fact that she was like family. reach out to eachother...and its okay to cry. cry as hard and as long as you need to....it eases up alot of that stress.

we love u:)
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EuphoricNostalgia
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Losing A Friend

Post by EuphoricNostalgia » Thu Oct 11, 2007 9:53 am

Thanks for making time reading my long post you guys.

I've lost my favorite uncle, and my grandmother before but the pain didn't feel like this. I've never cried so hard in my life that when it was the day for her to be buried, my tears suddenly stopped. Never in my life did I imagine that tears can run dry...:(

Katrina or "katkat" as I call her, was one of my bestest friends. She knew all my secrets and she knew me very well. She was the sweetest person I have ever met because she was very childlike. And now, every single day I miss her...her voice, her laugh, her pouts when I tease her, her smile, her stories...EVERYTHING.:(

And about God, I'm very sorry to say that I'm an atheist.:unsure: :( I've tried to tell my mother about how I feel but every time, she just says that I should ask guidance and pray to God.

I am such a pathetic person, aren't I?:idontknow
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miss
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Losing A Friend

Post by miss » Thu Oct 11, 2007 2:19 pm

Awwww Roni I'm soo sorry girl!
My heart goes out to you...

About your loneliness... I can only imagin how hard it must be for you to lose such a good friend and so young too...
But maybe you should think about how she would want you to get on with your life and be happy... To always carry her in your heart and remember her but also to live your life and be happy...

I think it's a good idea for you to see someone professional.... Sometimes we need someone outside our lives to listen...

I wish you only happiness and may you never know such sorrow again...

I'm always here if you wanna talk... (just logg on to msn you lazy ass! lol :)
one day I'll fly away, leave all this to yesterday...

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Shannon
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Losing A Friend

Post by Shannon » Thu Oct 11, 2007 3:08 pm

Awww, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend, Roni. :( You have my deepest sympathy.

I recently lost a dear friend of mine too, but I think very few, including myself, can ever understand what you're going through... your pain. No one deserves this. Though, as hard as it is, you need to get get on with your life and try to let her go, I'm sure your friend would've wanted you to as well. It will take a lot of time, I know it will, but you need to give yourself that time, no matter how much you need.

I'm far from the best person to give advise, but I know how it feels to lose someone you deeply care about and love... all too well. However, if you feel you need help to deal with your grief and sorrow, then maybe you should go to a psychiatrist. Sometimes that is a very good solution.

No matter what, we are here for you. :) My thoughts and prayers goes out to you.

Take care. :wub:

Hugs,
Veronica
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Losing A Friend

Post by Saphster » Thu Oct 11, 2007 3:35 pm

Just reading this made me cry. I've never read such a sad story on here before. I am so sorry about your friend. Maybe you should go see a psychatrist. You are going through a lot of traumatic stress. Try not to take it out on others though...that only makes things worse. :(

I am really sorry. Just know that your friend is not suffering anymore. I hope you go through this obstacle safely and feel better soon.
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EuphoricNostalgia
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Losing A Friend

Post by EuphoricNostalgia » Thu Oct 11, 2007 10:41 pm

I'm really lost right now. And especially because school getting tough on me. Because my friend died, I failed to go on duty at the hospital for 2 days which is equal to 6 make up duties.:( I will be doing it this sembreak so I will not have sembreak at all. Then 2nd semester starts next next week.:pullhair

I'm tired...so tired.

My friends and my bf have been upset with me these past few days because I often say "I wanna die. I really wanna die now."..........................

I never want to experience that kind of trauma again. Seeing someone I love die slowly was the most horrible thing that ever happened to me.:(
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EuphoricNostalgia
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Losing A Friend

Post by EuphoricNostalgia » Sat Oct 13, 2007 9:27 pm

Hmmm...me and a close friend went out yesterday. And then after watching a movie, we went to the memorial and visited our friend...

I really miss her so much...:(
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sweet princess
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Losing A Friend

Post by sweet princess » Sun Nov 04, 2007 9:00 am

Please don't be sad, you know that we are all here for you if you ever wanna talk. She's in a better place now. She'll be watching over you. I love you.. Please pm me if you wanna talk.
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R.I.P. Michael..I love you...

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