falling back down the other side

T

The Lucy.

New member
falling back down the other side - lucy mapstone

even after i flew free of misery,
i'm still getting the brunt
of what can only be described as cruelty.

and it's not like i did anything.
not to anyone. i'm only me.
i'm incapable of hurting a soul...

...well, apart from my own.

yet i still suffer. i'm tired and alone
because of the people pushing me away.
and then i'm to blame. tell me this isn't justice,
for if it is, i'm not sure i'm in the right world.

i barely sleep, wrapped in a cocoon of fear;
fear of the future, fear of people,
fear of fear itself.
please tell me this is natural, even though,
i highly suspect not.

what i wouldn't give to get away.

and as i'm here
woe begone
wallowing in self-pity,
i can hear a voice in my head telling me
to "stop being so pathetic" and
"there are plenty worse off than you"

so back into my cocoon i go, fearful of myself.
i'm scared of my own guilt
my mind full of 'what if' and 'if only i could be someone else'.
i can't sleep, i'm tired.

when i do sleep, i dream of things
that are strictly mine. yet i'm frightened
for it is in dreaming that the truth is told
and my soul is exposed to myself.

am i too different to live in this society?
am i too naive to think that i can survive?
am i even too stupid for pondering on this?

when things are looking up
i'm suddenly falling back down the other side.
when will i be happy?
when will i be free?
not just from society, ex-friends, the world.

when will i be free
from myself?
 
F

For All Time

New member
OMG Lucy...your peoms are so wonderful, you have tallent :)

I can really identify with this one

i barely sleep, wrapped in a cocoon of fear;
fear of the future, fear of people,
Click to expand...


you dont know how all to familiar that sounds.... i have those fears:( i wish they would go and i would stop worrying
 
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