EuphoricNostalgia
New member
It's been a long time since I've posted here. I've been real busy with College and other stuff. But recently, an accident changed my life.
A very close friend of mine, died in a motor accident. When another friend called me up her voice was shaking and the moment she said my friend's name, my body just froze and I was almost deafened by the thundering beats of my heart.
I called all the people I should call then rushed to the hospital. When my friend and I arrived there at the E.R., my boyfriend was already there. He just hugged me and told me not to worry. I had an opportunity to take a small peek at what's going on behind the blue curtains and what I saw made me cry. What a horrible sight. She didn't look like herself anymore. I won't go into details about what happened to her because I would cry right now if I do.
After the longest time inside the E.R., she was sent to the X-ray room. My boyfriend accompanied her and assisted transferring her. He was allowed to do it because we've been on duty to that hospital for already 2 weeks, coincidentally. And I think he sensed that I was really worried about our friend. My boyfriend and her were also close and relatives so I could feel that he was just trying to be strong for me while I cried silently.
She was sent to the operating room after her blood pressure dropped to zero.
They said during the operation, she had a cardiac arrest. The doctor warned us that if it happens again, she'll die. We waited outside the operating room for news because one of the doctors inside was my friend's relative as well. You see she was a member of one of the richest family in our city.
He said she lost a lot of blood and she needs an initial transfusion of 6-8 bags of blood. But what makes me puzzled is that of all the people who were there at the hospital, nobody has her match.
When she was transferred to the ICU, I thought there was hope for her. I thought she was already stable but when I went there with my bf, the doctor said she was already brain dead. I cried hysterically when I heard that. It was so painful...and when I saw her when they opened the curtains of the ICU, I wanted to die too.
I knew she was trying to fight. I knew she didn't want to die...because she had FIVE cardiac arrests before her heart gave up.
...I posted this thread because I'm still really really sad. It's almost a month since it happened but I'm still mourning for her lost. It's so hard to accept that she's gone especially when EVERY DAY we were together. She would even surprise me by showing up at my room's door while I'm sleeping. She was one of the most precious friends I've had and now she's gone. What I'm afraid of now is that I can't go on with my life properly. I lost interest in school, I'm always moody and snapping at my bf, and I always feel so alone.
I've never felt such loneliness...and sadness. I'm weak emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I always always want someone I could talk to because the friend that I've lost was the one whom I frequently talk to.
What do you guys think I should do? I've thought about talking to a psychiatrist because I want someone or anyone...to tell me what my problem really is. I don't wanna be alone anymore.
A very close friend of mine, died in a motor accident. When another friend called me up her voice was shaking and the moment she said my friend's name, my body just froze and I was almost deafened by the thundering beats of my heart.
I called all the people I should call then rushed to the hospital. When my friend and I arrived there at the E.R., my boyfriend was already there. He just hugged me and told me not to worry. I had an opportunity to take a small peek at what's going on behind the blue curtains and what I saw made me cry. What a horrible sight. She didn't look like herself anymore. I won't go into details about what happened to her because I would cry right now if I do.
After the longest time inside the E.R., she was sent to the X-ray room. My boyfriend accompanied her and assisted transferring her. He was allowed to do it because we've been on duty to that hospital for already 2 weeks, coincidentally. And I think he sensed that I was really worried about our friend. My boyfriend and her were also close and relatives so I could feel that he was just trying to be strong for me while I cried silently.
She was sent to the operating room after her blood pressure dropped to zero.
They said during the operation, she had a cardiac arrest. The doctor warned us that if it happens again, she'll die. We waited outside the operating room for news because one of the doctors inside was my friend's relative as well. You see she was a member of one of the richest family in our city.He said she lost a lot of blood and she needs an initial transfusion of 6-8 bags of blood. But what makes me puzzled is that of all the people who were there at the hospital, nobody has her match.
When she was transferred to the ICU, I thought there was hope for her. I thought she was already stable but when I went there with my bf, the doctor said she was already brain dead. I cried hysterically when I heard that. It was so painful...and when I saw her when they opened the curtains of the ICU, I wanted to die too.
I knew she was trying to fight. I knew she didn't want to die...because she had FIVE cardiac arrests before her heart gave up.
...I posted this thread because I'm still really really sad. It's almost a month since it happened but I'm still mourning for her lost. It's so hard to accept that she's gone especially when EVERY DAY we were together. She would even surprise me by showing up at my room's door while I'm sleeping. She was one of the most precious friends I've had and now she's gone. What I'm afraid of now is that I can't go on with my life properly. I lost interest in school, I'm always moody and snapping at my bf, and I always feel so alone.
I've never felt such loneliness...and sadness. I'm weak emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I always always want someone I could talk to because the friend that I've lost was the one whom I frequently talk to.
What do you guys think I should do? I've thought about talking to a psychiatrist because I want someone or anyone...to tell me what my problem really is. I don't wanna be alone anymore.