Have you ever liked someone you\'re not supposed to like?

[Saphster]

I need to tell somebody or I'm gonna explode!

I have a boyfriend that I love with all my soul. I've been with him for 6 years and I would never give us up for anything or anyone.

But I can't stop thinking about this certain person...he appears in my dreams. In the dream that I had...I found out he was married and I was upset. Very upset. I am so freakin confused.

I found him so attractive the first time I laid eyes on him. Weird thing is that he's not even that good looking...and the worst part is that we work at the same place. I even check the schedule to see if I will work with him so I can attempt to look 'pretty' if he sees me. I have never had a long conversation with him but I can't help but smile a lot when he does speak to me.

He doesn't even know how I feel. I am so lame. I don't want to do anything with him. He is not worth it. I don't know him at all. His personality is probably not even my type and there's probably a ton of things we wouldn't like about each other.

It's just...extreme physical attraction. And I feel so bad. Today he worked with me and I became so angry with myself for being SAD that he wouldn't work around the same area as me. Can you imagine that I kept a look out to see if he would come by me? How pathetic! I was so mad at myself.

He did come by me. At the end of the night. I tried my hardest and didn't make eye contact. Cause if I look him in the eyes...I don't know what confused emotions my heart will send out. When I left for work today...no one was really around the area that I exit out of ..but him. I whistled for him to open the door and let me out. He did and as we waited for the door to open I kept thinking of something to talk about with him...I had to STOP myself. I just thanked him and said bye without looking at him.

I am pathetic. I check the schedules to see when we will work together...even though I barely get to see a lot of him. I constantly look around to see if he is around. I spend more time on my physical appearance. I feel so freakin bad. I feel like a horrible person!

He is nothing compared to my amazing boyfriend whom I love and want to marry very soon. What should I do? I know....stop thinking about this person...stop looking at the schedules....stop looking around to see if he is around....it's hard. I'm so confused...help?

 

[Cristine87]

Well, Miss Betty. Hopefully I'm as wise as you in giving advice! Here it goes: I've been their. I've liked guys and I didn't even know why the hell I liked them. It's just something about that person that draws you to them, even though you know you would never actually date that person. Now, it could be something that passes. It has for me. Eventually as your around him more, he'll become less of a threat to your heart. You did say that you've been with your boyfriend for six years. Do you feel that maybe the relationship has become stale or boring? That there's no mystery anymore? Having crushes or being secretly attracted to someone is fun and exciting and it may be something you need and don't even realize. You just need to ask yourself if their is something in your relationship that's missing and if their isn't, this should be a passing crush. For example, I dated a guy long distance and I developed a crush on my supervisor who I saw everyday. In the end I ended things with the long distance guy but I never dated my supervisor because 1)he was my boss and 2)he was a wanna be player. I'm not trying to scare you but I'm just advising you to take a good hard look at your relationship and be honest with yourself. Other wise, a crush is healthy!

 

[Saphster]

We haven't been spending so much time together...that is my fault. I've been so busy with school and work and I feel like I'm missing out on time with him.

I will make more of an effort to spend time with him. The spark is definitely still there. 6 years later and I still find him very attractive and he is so much fun to be around. He always does and says the right things.

I think it is just a crush. It's worth getting involved with....

I think I will just try my hardest to forget about this crush and just be brave and act like it doesn't affect me. Hopefully in time it does go away...

 

[Palmyra]

Well, you will never know what all of this means unless you talk more with this guy at work. Spend some time with him and see what your reaction is. I am not saying you should date him or anything. I am just saying you could invite him to lunch or something (anything where you would be around him as long as it doesn't come across as a date ...what is and isn't a date can something be difficult to separate) and see if there's anything there at all. If not, as you suspect, you have nothing to sweat. If it is more than a crush, you'll at least have a definitive answer.

I imagine you're pretty awkward around him right now, so try to break the ice a little. Based on your description, it sounds like you would start mumbling and looking very uncomfortable (or overly comfortable) as soon as he talks to you. This gives off a bad vibe. See if you can be a little more relaxed around him.

 

[Saphster]

Okay peeps I wanna update a little on this problem that I had. As I worked around him and spoke to him a bit more I found myself thinking of him less to the point where I even forgot I worked with him. I don't check to see if we work together anymore. I don't get anxious. He's definitely not my type. But, he seems like a cool guy. Just not someone I'd ever get involved with. I think it was the physical attraction that stumped me. I'm able to talk to him without being strange lol.

Emotions can be so confusing sometimes. But, I'm glad I was able to put this behind me.