My poetry...

MJJ_Lover

New member
Decided to share some of ma stuff. *cough*
I apologise for the language at times, and harsh imagery.

Flow...:

Connection is a weapon
to a third dimension
where one is free
An animal alive or dead
they all bleed
and suffer
this long purgatory
through a desolate land that cries for help
whether you're above or below
ain't it humbling to know
we all bleed for humanity
to know we seep of life through our
veins. Raw and primitive
haven't lost what's innate
we trickle like the rivers and the rain
in multi-colour patterns
light reflects, and the red ochre gleams.
like a dream, the bird is free
to know we're all the same
the same colour runs through our pain
like rivers. There's nothing to gain
only to bleed for more pain
and to shut ourselves out for selfish gain
Ain't it humbling to know that when
the red river flows
into ocean's of primitive desire
we walk far and wide
and touch souls;
sands we caress in our finger tips
to add sentience to humanity
all I pray to be
is someone who can bleed and
be set free.
along a path that knows no creed
for the colour red knows not to speak
it seeps, like blind desire
and runs like a hungry killer
beautiful and pure
washes up to the shore
and runs... like life is wilting away.

Criminal:

Need time away, spent doing nothing
Cussing, drinking, swearing
Living the ‘hard knock’ life, and then you die…
They say you sleep until you pass…
It’s crass, I don’t believe it.
The skies are high; the sun is out… all you gotta do is touch the sky
and kiss good-bye to self-condemnation, traps you in a prison
there in our nation and places foreign
we got men drinking, holding a can of soup within their cell,
and praying to Jesus all night long
To know they’re forgiven for being human
and striking out of malice, towards the devil
he sues them, takes them.
Their desire was too great,
and desperation to escape
cut their path through, this way
dug their way out to a brighter day
tried to grab a loaf of bread on their way
and the can of soup rests in their lap for another day
another day, another day, drags on into infinity… eternal purgatory
Self-forgiveness is desolate; no one is there…
you’re isolated in the torture of the mind you flagellate
and attack with every ounce of energy
sweat to know you fly up there, and caress the stars
in your foul imagination
At birth, he takes it away from us
not another day of living here
we never were here
in heaven we lay
peacefully on clouds of harmony
our creativity
was our power of escapism from that purgatory,
and damnation was only found when we came down to earth
can in hand, and life underway
they tell you to live, then abuse you another day
The same deprivation landed you this way
It doesn’t make sense; it’s the tragic anomaly.
A wife beaten, hurt,
bruised to death
last ounce of life she tries to grab
around the neck she holds him tight
a hug too barbarous, a hug too light
leaves a mark, that speaks of death,
her breath gone, ends up in this vast space,
vacuous nothing, that takes God’s place
Condemn her to a hell they create, on earth.
and all she wanted was to live
and live peacefully away from him
and he was abused too as a ‘little one’
clutching on to the remains of a broken childhood
when he sleeps, still is his musty bear in one hand
can no longer hear its sweet cadence
singing him to sleep are the daemons
that condemn him to place
his child in the space
he’s rotten forever now…
Sucking on his thumb,
a gun in the other hand
Sucking on his thumb,
Crying, ‘Mummy, why didn’t you understand?’
The gun was pointed to my head,
and now I sip this soup instead
I lie here motionless, reliving every live memory
like it was yesterday
and yesterday manifests itself in an endless day
imprisons his heart, and there he stays, lays
Sucking on his thumb,
a gun in his other hand
and takes the life of an innocent man.
Innocent two, walking paths of salvation
in the name of the Lord, they pray for redemption
Innocent two,
‘crim’s’ aberration from this journey
the subversion, so one floats below, another screams above
one in ecstasy, he screams and cries
in the clouds, he resides
The other frolics down below,
in gardens of purity, demise he doesn’t show.
In imagination, creativity lurks
like false wisdom, they put him in his place:
‘Sit down, shut up, you have no voice.
Shut up, mother fucker, who do you think you are?
Authority is above your petty arse.
Sit down, don’t rise, we can’t take your supremacy.
We’re one with the one. Just leave us be.’
His imagination takes him free, from expectation
and guilt that rots his clouded mind
the others leave his innocence behind.

Prey:

Attack,
With a weapon of self destruction
Rivers that run...
Ochre seeping blood from tribal desire
Instinctive thirst
To destroy what creates thee...
A mask of ugly barbarity
This isn't me. Don’t you see?
A face of grotesque monstrosity...
To scare you from touching me... breathing on me.
Stay the f**k away from me.

Yeah, I’m a criminal
Turning an innocent into a cannibal
Before my eyes
Can’t control it
Turbulence;
Plane swooping down into a state of demise…
Look at her face
The impurity,
Contamination you denounce
When we sit at the dinner table
The place of the age-old family fable
Others hurt and suffer
Have reason to attack
Me, I’m turning this dream into a nightmare
Just put a gun to my head
Before I kill with insanity
With psychotic abnormality
Doesn’t run through my blood…
Call me as sick as can be
A young child, trapped
In a cage of self-condemnation for nothing
I cuss and I spit
And I rape
Of the pride of freedom
Integrity broken into a million pieces
And when she cries
I know it’s the tears of my disease
Multiplying into adult bigotry
So she can hate the world
And walk depressed down a hall of the
Oppressed, doing nothing to see
That I’m turning my sister into me
f**k it. She hates me…
I feel it.
Other children her age are carefree
Hypocrisy… Ambiguity
The same morals I preach
I abrogate stupidly
Fictitious reality
Want to scream and abuse my family
Can’t stop it…
It haunts me
‘Cause I’m turning my prey
Into a cannibal
Just like me.
One day I’ll be behind bars,
And I’ll love it
And orgasm of guilt released
Ecstatic purity
Unfold my wings…
The fallen angel,
To be a devil
Rising bellow…
Flying in the depths of purgatory.

I'm not depressed... writing is just a release for me, and I enjoy to magnify my emotions, and to sometimes sensationalise and fabricate them.
God bless everyone.
Jojo  :)
 

MJJ_Lover

New member
Guess I can put more up here...

I apologise for any offense aspects to this piece... I experimented with various beautiful, and also experimented with invasive aspects of intimacy, openess and expression, through this. ... so it has controversial issues intertwined.

Un-shield me:

Un-shield me
Fold back the blanket of my flesh
To reveal the truth beneath the mask;
Death rotting, paramount to love
The ambiguities obscuring your site into my heart
Pull back the covers
Reveal my naked body
Fawning for you…
Pull back the covers; the drapes
Look out into a world so blue
Observe trust, as I touch you
And peal back the limitations,
And we can be free again.
Pull back the covers
Strip my life from your limbs
As I caress your face
And see age, an old dim
Carrying our innocence away
My chastity and sanctity
Stripped from this humble being
Pull back the covers, darling…
And reveal what’s beneath
Deep, dark decay
A doom of fatal anticipation
Pull back the covers
As I lye waiting for you
Stretched, nothing else to live for
Pull back the covers
As my arms slip into yours
And I sway into detriment
The branches of my desire wrapped around you
The drapes of night
Pull back their darkness
Stars ahead, we’ve never reached
Pull back the covers
To reveal nothing…
Beyond the abyss; a vacuous space
Pull back the drapes…
View Mother Nature
As she undresses…
Like a lost child, come to mother
Watch her watch you,
As you find your duplicate pleasure
----
 

MJJ_Lover

New member
Excuse the language - swear words - used below. If you object, please don't read.

Alone:

I feel so desensitised to the horrors of the world
Feel like I’m walking through a prison
The inmates I scorn at
Not realising I’m one of them
Feel guilty for not caring
Want to tear at myself inside…
Wish I could suffer, but silently pray that I don’t
‘Cause I know the strength won’t keep me alright…

I hear from a friend…
Long forgotten, never cared about her
As my heart streams with tears
Patterning the earth with hurt
She tells me her tale
Like the dreaming, it caressing the seas and the earth
Speaks the truth of old fables
Speaks the path of mankind
Speaks the rhythm of the tide
Speaks the cruelty and barbarity of our life
She tells me she has nothing…
Walking forward with no-one…
Nothing is bare
All is concealed…
And she spent her youth fighting for these warriors, who abandon her
She’s spent her time…
In a prison of conformity, and abandonment
As she’s ostracised from society
Do I give a f**k about her?

Will I rip my hair out and slur rhythms…
That bound beyond the restrictions of a false heart
Will my hands extend beyond my promises
Will I toil in care?
Or revert to my self-obsessed thoughts
Praying to God;
Do take me to hell
I know I deserve it…
Look at my blessed life
You’ve given me nothing; no pain, no strife
Look at my friend, fawning to bleed
In one hand is a gun, in the other a seed
Plant this seed, God says…
Let it grow
New expectations shall carry you along
A different path, the same faith
In the man you saluted
Self-sacrifice you take…
But you walk no food in hand…
Nothing to rejuvenate
Nothing to eat, you’re wasting away
I watch…
Watch through electric eyes
Of a television set
The others despise…
As I watch, mock, condemn, ridicule
Laughter and banter make mockery a fool
I lie to spite hypocrisy
Of forever ambiguity
I fake a smile
Watching world vision on my TV set
Children dying
Got nothing to earn to get out of it
A fucking system that rips them apart
Built with the blocks of my aching heart
Vacuous nothing, that tears us apart
Humanity yearning to take a new start

And she walks my dear friend
From home to home
A beggar, in hand,
A beautiful stone
Of life from the outside,
A gift of wisdom
Her heart in a bag…
Offers it for nourishment
And I stand here
Just kill me…
What do I do?
I’m one with the system
I’ve done nothing for you.
---
 

MJJ_Lover

New member
Thank you very much frozen rose. :) I appreciate your compliments.
You can call me Jodi, Jo, Jojo, Jodes... anything... by the way :), if you like. :)
Is your name Fran? Hehe, sorry.
 

MJJ_Lover

New member
This may be intense. I am not depressed. I express myself with dark imagery ... often very metaphysical, and of heaven, hell, God and the devil. I feel comfortable expressing myself this way. I am happy, and I blessed to be alive, and to be a part of this wonderful community. :) Thank you for your time.



Whore of ambition.
It’s cold when you whisper falsities,
and pray to God to bring you home
But to where? You’re all alone.
no one’s out here, you’ve cast them off
ostracised your inner self, to watch with the angels, higher than hell.
Your godly being knows no end
like infinite purgatory;
desolate are the lands your omnipresence deems yours…
as you walk into the arms of something you don’t know.
You’re going home.
Fooled yourself that you were alone…
Mean-time; voices scratching in the dawn.
Like awakening sadness, you’re not the only one.
You thought you could get away with being a bitch,
but the only one you showed your true colours to,
is now lying in a ditch.
It’s not a sad story. It’s a fable of true and old-aged glory.
Covered in primitive lust, and masked by who we once were.
Trying to forget the past,
we forget that everything we tried to be was but a façade.
We forget that our friends were really sad,
and we pushed them away.
Where are they now? ‘Higher and holier than you my friend.’
Your face stripped to ruins. Your reputation burned.
For what? For nothing. Just another sight of who you should be.
Supposedly self-conception sets you free…
along this narrow hall of depression you call home.
It’s not true… not where you want them to be.
Their supple souls infiltrating the madness that conspired against your aggrieved soul,
as you left the others behind.
Your supple being that grinds and pulps against life and its expectations.
I’m so sorry for your pain.
I’m so sorry for your pain.
I’m so sorry for your pain.
It should be mine.
Can I take it away?
And I feel like the madness I made you
is condemnation, and a secret hue of what I wished you to be…
covering every lie of what I tried to see… your beauty, free and nocturnal…
with the rise of the stars… to celestial beings that caress your broken heart.
How could I be so… fucking selfless?
Yes, how could I tear me apart? How could I do this to you…
when all I prayed for was a fresh start.
And here you stand, naked and beautiful. Alone and vulnerable, needing me.
Will I feel the guilt tonight?
Does the devil’s path set us free?
Are self-condemnations the answer to this desolate purgatory?
Is fictitious reality not a mask that feigns illusion, but reigns above;
prevailing truth… despite the confusions?
Is it what makes us real?
Is it what makes us whole? Do we dissolve into nothing…
a play of notions and stale coffins…
when we commit to a path above heaven? When we self-glorify,
and hang our putrid bones on the cross of dignity.
When we strip our limbs and feed its humbling flesh to the guilty…
to the hungry.
When we proclaim ourselves God and try take his destiny into our hands.
Where do I walk God?
When do I go?
‘When everything seems to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.’
I want you to know I’m alive…
I breathe.
 

MJJ_Lover

New member
The Doll:

The doll brings life to her face
As she stares in her eyes
She finds her ragged edges
Glistening in her porcelain eyes
She names her with despise
A doll reminds her of her childhood
Thrown away with the other toys
She glances at her predicament
From afar; detached from everything she sees
Starry eyes of a million dreams
But nowhere it seems the truth does lye
In everything she wants to be
But can’t seem to reach
So into the porcelain eyes
She wonders...
In demise, she finds her home
In the jaded watch of a dead doll
Its icy glance, that reminds her of her own insentience
Its grip of love, that’s bereft of life
Its immortal stranger
No-one
That shares nothing
The porecelain dream is vase
And vulgar in its perfect appearance
No flaws deem its inexistence
Ruthless deception…
And duplicate offerings
Its tiny hand that dances across your coffin
Reaches out to play with you
Like a malevolent molester
Takes you…
Play with me…
Play with me…
'Till the sunset, and mommy puts you to bed
To your doll house you climb
Like a microcosm of your imperfection
Every wooden notion
Broken with the crumbling of one million dreams
Everything she seems carved out of fickle memories
That perpetuate their resonance in the future…
She bleeds…
Cardboard cut and soft…
Its seems it will all fall to pieces
Unless she erects this façade
Wears the veneer
Of the doll she owns
She mimics her insentience day and night
Clawing for something to believe
A vulgar and primitive animal
A beast that awakens with the face of the child
Mommy, I didn’t mean to leave you behind
I know daddy beat you up tonight
But what can you do, but laugh.
Life gives us misery
We wear a mask of nocturnal beauty
In the night we erect its façade
Walk forward like nothing's touched us
But mommy,
I know I’m alive
This diseased ambiguity drips from my palm
And what I feel myself is the blood I drain through expectations
Dreams unfulfilled carved out into my arm
Its bitter taste that runs like a river
Runs into eternity
Into the world of primal fantasy
Sadistic killings
And murders
Hundreds of children…
The run with the seas
They faun to bleed
As I sit with my doll in my hand
An old woman melting into the ground
Into her wrinkles
The tales she told;
Fable or truth?
No-one knew…
She doesn’t remember herself…
The girl she used to be
Eaten her up…
All that she sees…
Is the memory of the façade she wore as a young one
And now it’s faded into one
Now her dreams and prayers for happiness
And the fake-ness of feigned affection and joy
Has crumbled with the resurrection of the wall
Christ's cross as a mirror of her soul
Her promises prevail over pre-conceptions
Whole, she dug her life into the ground
Staring at the cross…
She found self-sacrifice
The life she lead
Was a vice to mislead, and abuse herself
Pretending she was one with God
She dipped her pain into hell
To cover it with duplicity
With cunning mockery of who she used to be
The face of a porcelain doll
A gorgeous nothing they all love…
She wore this mask all along…
And those long dead and forgotten
Got some joy from knowing she wasn’t rotting
When within she died
Sweet death…
And continued to pretend nothing was everything.
 
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