My poetry...

[MJJ_Lover]

Gone...:

Pull back the sheets between us and I’ll kiss you.
I promise I won’t touch.
I won’t despise you.
with time you’ll disappear.
just a faint memory of who we were…
pull back the sheets and I’ll see you for who you are.
Not myself reflected in your darkness.
I so want to touch you;
to know you’re alive.
I’ll love you ‘cause it’s all I know how.
But when you’re gone you never existed…
to me, a fictitious caricature
painting my nightmares red and holy.
Pull back these sheets bitch…
I’ll kiss you red
‘till you bleed from your mouth
this sweet cadence of life
its impurity… punctures my heart,
‘till I see clearly…
roses are red…
roses are red…

who are you?

Did you see me when I fucked him?
Raw and primitive, this lust is barbaric.
Love me like you loved yourself
before you destroyed yourself,
and took me with you.
Wrapped up in your arms…
you imprinted this love on your heart…
as the scars of your soul ravaged your mind
with false words,
unspoken with the echo of time…
as it permeates our self-conceptions…
and we walk together,
hand in hand…
lip to lip…
we breathe together, as one animal…

can I undress you now?

Before you die, I want to touch you.
Before I feel you, I want to know you’re there.
When you feel me, I’m gone…
‘cause when it’s over you never were.

 

[MJJ_Lover]

YaY. It's mah poem. Everyone love me.


Whore of ambition.
It’s cold when you whisper falsities,
and pray to God to bring you home
But to where? You’re all alone.
no one’s out here, you’ve cast them off
ostracised your inner self, to watch with the angels, higher than hell.
Your godly being knows no end
like infinite purgatory;
desolate are the lands your omnipresence deems yours…
as you walk into the arms of something you don’t know.
You’re going home.
Fooled yourself that you were alone…
Mean-time; voices scratching in the dawn.
Like awakening sadness, you’re not the only one.
You thought you could get away with being a bitch,
but the only one you showed your true colours to,
is now lying in a ditch.
It’s not a sad story. It’s a fable of true and old-aged glory.
Covered in primitive lust, and masked by who we once were.
Trying to forget the past,
we forget that everything we tried to be was but a façade.
We forget that our friends were really sad,
and we pushed them away.
Where are they now? ‘Higher and holier than you my friend.’
Your face stripped to ruins. Your reputation burned.
For what? For nothing. Just another sight of who you should be.
Supposedly self-conception sets you free…
along this narrow hall of depression you call home.
It’s not true… not where you want them to be.
Their supple souls infiltrating the madness that conspired against your aggrieved soul,
as you left the others behind.
Your supple being that grinds and pulps against life and its expectations.
I’m so sorry for your pain.
I’m so sorry for your pain.
I’m so sorry for your pain.
It should be mine.
Can I take it away?
And I feel like the madness I made you
is condemnation, and a secret hue of what I wished you to be…
covering every lie of what I tried to see… your beauty, free and nocturnal…
with the rise of the stars… to celestial beings that caress your broken heart.
How could I be so… fucking selfless?
Yes, how could I tear me apart? How could I do this to you…
when all I prayed for was a fresh start.
And here you stand, naked and beautiful. Alone and vulnerable, needing me.
Will I feel the guilt tonight?
Does the devil’s path set us free?
Are self-condemnations the answer to this desolate purgatory?
Is fictitious reality not a mask that feigns illusion, but reigns above;
prevailing truth… despite the confusions?
Is it what makes us real?
Is it what makes us whole? Do we dissolve into nothing…
a play of notions and stale coffins…
when we commit to a path above heaven? When we self-glorify,
and hang our putrid bones on the cross of dignity.
When we strip our limbs and feed its humbling flesh to the guilty…
to the hungry.
When we proclaim ourselves God and try take his destiny into our hands.
Where do I walk God?
When do I go?
‘When everything seems to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.’
I want you to know I’m alive…
I breathe.

 

[MJJ_Lover]

Lay down and die.

When we were young, the sun didn't hide, it
frolicked and played with the beasts all night
A sweet cadence of fairy-tale reminiscence
Sort of what they tell you... the magic castle,
everything painted in the sky.

Now it just hurts to see her cry
No longer rain drops from the sky
and dots and splashes that paint their story
like gleaming ocher in sun-rise
and puddles we jump in without demise...

a depressed child, black face...
sickly stare
she used to be my friend.
Now I've left her bare
A fake,
hiding unaware
Not a riddle of joy and laughter
but of banter and mocking slaughter
I can't believe I've acted the way I did
Such a fucking bitch...
my heart suffocating...
But not like the clouds that mask above
not like doves that silently pray
not like the end is the
dawning of a new day.

Discarded her,
threw her away.
Left her supple self.
Fierce lies of ambiguity
My mocking of her perceived minority
my condescending love
my false words spoken
my unkept promises
my unhealed disease
as her bone forms around my concept
a notion of the self that's stale with time
An abandoned child that only wants a friend...
Thought she had it...
Thought she had it...
Thought she had it...
Thought she had it...
Thought she had it...
Thought she had it...
Thought she had it...
Thought she had it...
everything I stole
her hope, her pride,
her faith in mankind to restore her love
and sense of self
found within another's eyes
her beating demise
upon a definition of friendship
I've moulded for future abuse.
Handicapped emotions gone astray
cold murder 'cause I can get away with it
Forgotten her
at the end of the day
Who will I punish,
but myself?

God do away with every
self-glorification.
everything that rotted her smile
my philanthropy a veneer.
everything I am a lie
lie
lie
lie
lie...
watched her lay down and
die.