Have any girls here had this problem?

[Cristine87]

So, I was with this friend of mine, we like each other, but it seems like he is jealous of my love for Michael. He tells me "it's like you love Michael more than me". I've had this problem with other guys too. They're always threatened by my love for Michael. They actually get jealous of him. They feel I love him too much. I was thinking about it and I just had to ask the ladies of MJEOL if any of you have gone through this and understand what I'm talking about. I probably should've put this on sexy side forum but I feel like more people will see in Conversations.

 

[EuphoricNostalgia]

Awww...My boyfriend is like that sometimes especially when I can't help but swoon over Michael and his sexiness.:lol And he's not even a jealous guy!:lol

But I guess he knows better than to confront me with it because he's not going to win. Never. :chairbeat

:lol

And he knows I love Michael like I love my life. He just has to live with it if he really wants to be with me. That's how I am.:wub:



:cryptic

 

[Saphster]

With my BF I tend to talk about Michael a lot since his death. We never really talked about Michael in pure depth as we do now. I've had to set a lot of things straight to him about Michael's past, and the lies put against him. He doesn't think Michael is guilty from the allegations but he finds it strange that he put himself in the position to trust these people too much, and bring them into his home. He says that he pretty much made himself into a target. But, after a long debate he agreed with my conclusion that his upbringing was very difficult, his beliefs were completely different from ours, and that he was a kind, and trusting human being. What kinda makes gloomy is the fact that he was kinda scared of Michael. He said that his appearance just makes him uncomfortable...so me telling him that I thought Michael was sexy is ...not such a good idea...:chained

He would also freak out if I told him his smile is just like a Michael smile. Then, he'd be furious! LOL. Those big smiles that Michael would give and show all his brilliant teeth type of smile. I'm serious. My BF has...like..perfect pearly white teeth (unlike me with my 3 years of braces) and when he smiles it just looks like Michael's smile. I will have to post up a picture one day to compare. The bad thing is he never smiles when a camera is on.

I try to avoid talking a lot about Michael to him because I don't want him to feel jealous. Maybe this is TMI but I found it rather...VERY.. difficult to be intimate with him for a while after Michael died. The first time we were alone physically after Michael's passing I told him I was to upset to do anything, so he just held me. He said, "Because Mike died." So, yeah I go through these crazy emotions. It's like that enormous love, that big crush, that physical attraction for Michael never died in me. It was always there. It was just pushed to the side for a while because I fell in love with someone else, my boyfriend, who I got to know very well, and physically be around. If I told my bf, "You know I used to love..well..still sort of love Michael?" he'd flip! He'd completely hate Michael if I told him that.. :lol He is an extremely jealous guy when it comes to matters of the heart.

 

[Cristine87]

Maybe this is TMI but I found it rather...VERY.. difficult to be intimate with him for a while after Michael died.

It's ok, cause I just couldn't make love at all after he went away. It sucks cause to be honest, Michael came first and he's never disapointed me, so if these men can handle that then they can't be with me. It's not even like I knew MJ personally for them to even be threatened by him.

 

[Saphster]

It's ok, cause I just couldn't make love at all after he went away. It sucks cause to be honest, Michael came first and he's never disapointed me, so if these men can handle that then they can't be with me. It's not even like I knew MJ personally for them to even be threatened by him.

I know! I feel silly at times for even thinking of Michael when I'm with someone that I've told, "I love you," to. Because like you said it's not like I knew him personally, and even if I got to know him personally who is to say we would have been compatible? What if somehow I got to know Michael on a personal level and found out we are very different, and we are just better off as friends? It's like my heart feels incomplete. That hole is missing Michael. I feel silly for missing him so much. I miss him so much because I loved him...but sometimes I ask myself is that love real, or was it ever real? I really was more interested by him than anything else. Of course his music was incredible! I saw Smooth Criminal first when I was a toddler, and I thought he was the coolest. As I got older I thought he was the cutest. I started becoming more interested in who he was behind the dancing, the stage, and all the rumors. So I researched on Michael endlessly. I just thought he was the perfect man for any woman...but was he really? Or is the iconic and untouchable figure really the one I fell for? I will never know...

 

[Palmyra]

As a guy, I can't relate to what you're experiencing, but I can say that I generally avoid discussing Michael when I am talking with friends. If I expressed to them how much I love Michael (in a strictly heterosexual way), I wouldn't be surprised if I received strange looks, raised eyebrows, and judgmental comments. Honestly, I pretend to be an average fan when I am around others. I say nothing of my love for Michael.

I do encourage you to assert your position and not let go of Michael. There's just so much comfort and happiness Michael brought to me, it would be devastating for me to let go of him. I have contemplated completely forgetting about Michael because of all the drama surrounding his life and death, but his smile and personality change my mind.

It's like that enormous love, that big crush, that physical attraction for Michael never died in me. It was always there. It was just pushed to the side for a while because I fell in love with someone I got to know very well, and physically be around. If I told him, "You know I used to love..well..still sort of love Michael?" he'd flip! He's completely hate Michael. He is an extremely jealous guy.

I am lost at this point. Are you talking about a previous boyfriend here? Earlier in your post, you mention a fairly understanding boyfriend, and at this point, it seems like he wouldn't tolerate your saying you love Michael (if not this, maybe you're talking about a different boyfriend).

 

[Cristine87]

There's just so much comfort and happiness Michael brought to me, it would be devastating for me to let go of him.

Exactly! He makes me so happy and he takes me to a place of comfort and bliss, that to be honest, I can't get in my everyday life. Whenever things are sh*tty, MJ's always there and he numbs my pain. He always has!

 

[LittleSusie50]

That's interesting Palmyra...
I thought about doing the same thing a few weeks ago.
I was gonna stop listening to music and get rid of all
my MJ stuff on Ebay, just force myself to move on.
Even stop coming on this site.
Needless to say, it didn't work.
Ten minutes tops, if that long.
I should have known better ...

As for the whole boyfriend vs Michael, been there done that.
Michael wins every time...sorry.

 

[Saphster]

I am lost at this point. Are you talking about a previous boyfriend here? Earlier in your post, you mention a fairly understanding boyfriend, and at this point, it seems like he wouldn't tolerate your saying you love Michael (if not this, maybe you're talking about a different boyfriend).

I edited my post so it can be understood better. I type fast without thinking sometimes.

I've told him I love Michel, but I haven't told him how deep my love goes. I don't think I would ever tell him. It wouldn't be fair to him since we've been through so much together (and I do love my bf very much), and I never even knew Michael.

 

[Cristine87]

As for the whole boyfriend vs Michael, been there done that.
Michael wins every time...sorry.

:lol Ain't it the truth!

 

[Saphster]

That's interesting Palmyra...
I thought about doing the same thing a few weeks ago.
I was gonna stop listening to music and get rid of all
my MJ stuff on Ebay, just force myself to move on.
Even stop coming on this site.
Needless to say, it didn't work.
Ten minutes tops, if that long.
I should have known better ...

As for the whole boyfriend vs Michael, been there done that.
Michael wins every time...sorry.

That doesn't mean that you should give up completely. I'm not saying you're giving up...but as painful as it might be to hear, or for me to say, it's not always good to go out and hope to try to find a Michael in a man. There was only one 'Michael' and he can't be duplicated. There are many good men out there. Will they be Michael? No. But, that doesn't mean they should be turned down immediately just because they might not have some of the characteristics that Michael had.

Like me and my bf for example. He's hot sauce, and I'm yogurt. We both are from different galaxies BUT when we sit down to talk, and share our thoughts we become one. We totally understand each other. So...just saying don't close the door. Let there be a crack.

 

[HeGivesMeButterflies*]

Yes, come to think of it, I've kinda had that kind of experience with an ex.

When I was around 14/15, I had a "boyfriend" and I guess I was pretty much infatuated with Michael by that point in my life hehe

Cut a long story short, the boy and I went on to break up, but we stayed friends, so we met up for coffee last week...and I surprisingly find out that he was infact jealous of Michael! :lol He openly revealed that he was jealous because he thought that I "loved" Michael more than him!

 

[LittleSusie50]

Oh no, don't misunderstand.
I know better than to compare any man to Michael.
What I'm saying is that they will try to make me feel
stupid for being a fan because they are not.
I don't try to make them a fan, I just ask them to
respect the fact that I am and not make insulting comments
in my presence. One of them scoffed at my life size MJ cut out,
and asked me to take it down. Its too damn big to take down!
So, I simply told him to look some place else if he didn't like it.
I don't like when people try to change me once we are in a relationship.
I was taping GHOSTS on VH1, I felt so lucky that it was on TV, and he said
he didn't wanna see it. Too damn bad. I told him to close his eyes and cover
his ears. There was NO way I was missing that!
He would watch sports often, and I never said a word or bothered him.
I just wanted the same respect, and if they can't hang,
then kick rocks...

 

[HeavenSent]

My experiences have been both good and bad. I've been in dating relationships with times in the back of mind I'm thinking, 'I bet Michael wouldn't do that sh*t', lol. I will admit doing that ALOT. But likely than not, the guy wasn't right for me anyway so there was never any sleep lost.

With my current boyfriend, we both love Michael but in different ways. While my love encapsulates so much more than just his music, my boyfriend loves Michael for his entertainment...And that's basically it.

Even with that difference, he doesn't disrepect Michael, he was never one to 'misunderstand' certain things even when they're obvious as hell. Right after Michael passed, he pulled away but I found it later that he was wanting to give me my space. He's a compasionate person. He has a lot of qualities that Michael has in just he way he treats people. He's got a good soul.

With maturity, I guess I've grown to seperate my loves because I cherish what I have. When my heart's not invested so much with someone then yeah...I guess there'd be more 'competition'.

 

[Saphster]

Oh no, don't misunderstand.
I know better than to compare any man to Michael.
What I'm saying is that they will try to make me feel
stupid for being a fan because they are not.
I don't try to make them a fan, I just ask them to
respect the fact that I am and not make insulting comments
in my presence. One of them scoffed at my life size MJ cut out,
and asked me to take it down. Its too damn big to take down!
So, I simply told him to look some place else if he didn't like it.
I don't like when people try to change me once we are in a relationship.
I was taping GHOSTS on VH1, I felt so lucky that it was on TV, and he said
he didn't wanna see it. Too damn bad. I told him to close his eyes and cover
his ears. There was NO way I was missing that!
He would watch sports often, and I never said a word or bothered him.
I just wanted the same respect, and if they can't hang,
then kick rocks...

LOL! Wow. Sounds like you wear the pants. :lol

I keep telling my boyfriend to go BUY me something Michael related. I told him, "If you really love me then go get me something! A shirt, and a poster, or two." I'm demanding it. Everywhere I go I can't seem to ever find anything except for albums that I already had for years. I'm borrowing his IPOD and deleted some of his songs, and added some of Michael's songs. LOL.

I've been in dating relationships with times in the back of mind I'm thinking, 'I bet Michael wouldn't do that sh*t', lol. I will admit doing that ALOT.

And as Carla said.....I thought I was the only one who did that! :lol

 

[privacy]

haha If any partner of mine had said that or asked that question, they always got the response, "of course Michael wins!" And that's the end of that conversation! Luckily my current partner, although not really a fan, is considerate of my feelings and understands that yes, I love Michael.

 

[CJluvsMJ]

I had the same problem when I was in high school.
There was this guy that I was really close to during my high school career for 4 years, and we both were fans of MJ. He was really cute, and honestly looks exactly like MJ. We were both musicians, and he would play MJ's music for me on the piano and the guitar, and he stood up for MJ constantly. I would give him things, like sunglasses and hats, just to act as if he were MJ, and sometimes called him Michael, which pissed him off. :lol He knew tht I LOVED MJ, and kinda respected it, but seemed a bit jealous coz my admiration was more for MJ than for him! :icrackingup
I have a pic here of us at our prom:
http://img402.imageshack.us/img402/7822/pict0021e.jpg
Cute, isn't he? :lol
It's eerie coz he has his smile...:wub::cryptic
We broke up on graduation, but was concerned for me the next day, since MJ died, and called constantly since then, but I wont answer, and I fear seeing him coz I don't want to cry in front of him and do something I would later regret. :lol
I just feel that MJ and I could have been great friends, both personally and professionally, coz he's a pop artist (I use "pop" vaguely) who loves classical music, and I'm a classical artist who loves pop (also vague) music.
And it also seems that we think alike musically. Based on what I heard on MJ Our Icon, MJ would hear who messed up without even seeing them, and pointing out who did it. I do it myself in orchestra practice! I always know who did the mistake when we'd practice, and my teacher was amazed by it.
I also think we could have had some of the funniest arguments ever, like who's better, Sonic or Mario (Mario forever!), some funny supersoaker fights, coz I have one that is about as tall as a 2 yr old, and can spray as far as 5-10 ft (I know I can catch him with that!), serious conversations about friendships and childhood, and have Star Wars lighsaber fights, and I'd probably end up giving him mine, just to see him smile, since I know how much he and his kids love Star Wars.
I feel like I lost my best friend...:1crying

 

[Cristine87]

Oh no, don't misunderstand.
I know better than to compare any man to Michael.
What I'm saying is that they will try to make me feel
stupid for being a fan because they are not.
I don't try to make them a fan, I just ask them to
respect the fact that I am and not make insulting comments
in my presence. One of them scoffed at my life size MJ cut out,
and asked me to take it down. Its too damn big to take down!
So, I simply told him to look some place else if he didn't like it.
I don't like when people try to change me once we are in a relationship.
I was taping GHOSTS on VH1, I felt so lucky that it was on TV, and he said
he didn't wanna see it. Too damn bad. I told him to close his eyes and cover
his ears. There was NO way I was missing that!
He would watch sports often, and I never said a word or bothered him.
I just wanted the same respect, and if they can't hang,
then kick rocks...

:lol Your post was cracking me up! Especially the life-size mj cut-out:lol